Two Chickens on the Way to the Day before Yesterday
A nonsensical parody poem by Reinhard Mey, "Zwei Hühner auf dem Weg nach Vorgestern" pokes fun at modern theater in rhyming couplets. As I was unable to find an English translation online, I made one myself - unfortunately without rhyming couplets, but the meaning (or lack thereof) in this German songwriter's work comes alross quite well anyway. Check out the original here, and his two most impactful songs here and here.
"Two chickens on the way to the day before yesterday", goes the lurid headline, Modern play by Alfons Yondraschek, and staged by Moro Schlamm. Yondraschek is well-known among the theatrically inclined, rightly spoken of as the master of unreal parasymbolism. The curtain goes up tentatively, the stage design reads "Nowhere". The scene is oppressively empty and remains so for twenty minutes, But then appears quasi demonically in a sudden switch of the spotlight A mime to the left of the stage, and then nothing happens for quite a long time. Then he calls out: "Hah! Where, then, is that traitor?" Incidentally, the hero is naturally naked. The question weighs heavy as lead on the audience, and with that ends the first act. And everyone who's been able to follow thus far, and who's well-versed in culture, He values in this first act most of all the poet's impetuous temperament. Mercilessly the curtain rises, the play remorselessly takes its course. The hero had as a precaution toppled over, and now he slowly rises. And by a twist of fate he meets a second naked man. The two loudly practice social criticism and do somersaults withal. One critic lends rapturous applause, he's wildly exhilarated at heart, Because here at last he feels all his problems fully understood. Meanwhile the malicious traitor crawls out from behind the backdrop. The road is long, he falls asleep, a part of the audience does so as well. The hero swiftly takes a plastic bag, into which the villain is packed. And he douses him in three buckets of paint, with which ends the second act. And everyone who's been able to follow thus far, and who's well-versed in culture, He values in the second act most of all the socio-critical moment. In the third act follows the catharsis of the colorfully colored villain. The tension grows nearly unbearable, one hears it crackle, otherwise one hears nothing. The catharsis takes place in the plastic bag and moreover completely silently, Lucky is he who brought along a sandwich or thermos flask. Thereupon comes a masked speaking choir and cries: "Oh look, the hero is freezing!" And yet that really wasn't needed, for the theater is subsidized. A pounding behind the backdrop heralds a dreadful sign of fate, For now comes the tragic climax - embodied by Mrs. Emma Pohl. Mrs. Pohl steps onto the stage from the right and exclaims: "This here is a reputable house!" And she disrobes to the horror of all, but thankfully that's where the drama ends. And everyone who's been able to follow thus far and who hasn't fallen asleep, He's either one card short of a full deck or a box office subscriber.
